November 02, 2016

Impossible Decision 2016

Know Your Candidates for Supreme Galactic Leader

Election Day is almost upon us and an informed voter is a dangerous voter, which is exactly what these candidates like –– danger!

Supreme Galactic Leader isn’t a job for the faint of heart. It requires a firm grasp of modern warfare and a diplomatic approach to intergalactic relations.

Residents of the galaxy have a tough choice ahead of them, one could even say it is an impossible decision. We’re here to help by giving you the rundown on each of the candidates. They may not be perfect, but they are ours.

Vote early, vote often, and remember only you can help prevent world peace.

Admiral Octomantis

“Vote for me or don’t, I’ll still win… Hey, at least I’m not Angrypants!”

Overcoming a tragic childhood where none of his three parents ever took him to the circus, Octomantis has proven he can rise above the petty disappointments of every day life. He works tirelessly to achieve his lifelong dream of being the one and only being left in existence.

His fierce rivalry with Captain Angrypants was forged after an unfortunate ice cream incident. When asked why you should vote for him his reply was very focused, “Angrypants cares about small woodland creatures children… I’m not Angrypants.”

We also inquired about his plans for galactic development, to which he replied, “Angrypants voted to end interstellar war and increase economic opportunities for the under privileged… I’m not Angrypants.”

The Admiral supports the carnivorous diet movement and maintains a healthy, balanced died of his enemies. He was proud to remind us he cannot be defeated since he does not have feet.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *